Inclusion: It’s as simple as “listening” & learning cultural patterns

Posted on 2. March 202025. November 2021 by Tania Pellegrini

A few years ago, the company I was working for sent me off to Brazil to lead a small team of 4 Brazilian women, all with different work and life experiences. The manager, who was about 35 years old, was the most experienced and the least experienced was an assistant who was about 24. I was excited to be heading there and to learn a whole new set of cultural patterns.

After a few months with the team, I thought it was time to analyse how things were moving forward and if I had considered all the cultural inclusion skills I had learnt. Had I built trust with my team? Had they built trust with one another? Was our communication clear? I asked myself all these questions, and more, and I was fairly content with my answers and gave myself a pat on the back. Boy was I wrong! About a week later, I realised how badly I had been reading Brazilian cultural patterns when one of my team members, (let’s call her Lia), told me how incompetent I was at dealing with Brazilians. Let me tell you what happened.

The meeting in Sao Paulo

Lia and I headed to Sao Paulo for an important meeting. I had 90 minutes to convince a university professor to allow about 100 of his students to do a paid internship with our company. Seems simple right? Well, I thought it was going to be simple. I’d had several similar meetings before, in different countries, and until then I had been successful with my request. I knew the subject matter very well, and I thought I knew what the outcome was going to be. Consequently, I entered the meeting on “Autopilot”. Mistake #1. I didn’t pick up on little signals and body language (the cultural patterns) that the professor was sharing throughout the discussion to show his disinterest. Therefore, I wasn’t flexible enough to change my mode of communication or my persuasion techniques.

“I entered the meeting on Autopilot: Mistake n. 01”

At the end of the 90 minutes, Lia and I walked out of the meeting, our heads down, unsuccessful. The professor was not going to allow his students to join our project. Lia and I stepped into the taxi that took us back to the airport. I was speechless and in shock at how badly the meeting had just gone.

After a few minutes, I turned to Lia and asked, “What just happened in there?” She looked at me and suddenly burst into tears. She was crying and yelling through her sobs, “Tania, you haven’t been listening to me!!!” I’ve been telling you for months that you cannot do things here your way, you have to do it the Brazilian way!” “What? What do you mean you’ve been telling me for months?” “Well, to start with, about one month ago in our team meeting, I said A, B and C. Three weeks ago, I said, X,Y and Z and last week I repeated A, B and C, but you just ignore what I say!”

I hadn’t heard because I didn’t know how to listen

Ooooooh…What a disaster. Lia had been giving me feedback about how to read the cultural patterns to be more efficient with my Brazilian counterparts, but I hadn’t “heard” her feedback. I hadn’t heard it because I didn’t know how to adapt my listening techniques to her communication methods. For Lia, hierarchy was important and I was her Manager. Therefore, she found it difficult to speak to me directly, she didn’t want to seem disrespectful, which means her feedback was very indirect, so indirect that I didn’t understand it. It just went straight over my head.

Lia believed that I didn’t trust her because I didn’t modify my communication according to her suggestions. In her eyes, I was not interested in her opinion or in her ideas. This was all mistaken of course, but that was her perspective. What’s more, I realised that I was probably about to lose the respect and trust from the rest of my team unless I made some changes quickly.

“I had only been listening with my ears”

I hadn’t understood Lia because I had only been listening with my ears and because I was convinced that my method of getting things done was the right one. Lia was putting far more than just words into the message she was delivering. In fact, the words she used were of little significance. Most of the significance came from her body language and the subtle hints she was giving me while smiling.

Did I think that because she smiled while giving me the hints that they were not so important or not serious? For me a smile typically means agreement. Did I not go out to lunch with her often enough and share in personal chatter enough? Maybe that would have created a level of trust with her that could have helped her open up to me differently, or in a way that I would have understood. If I had done more personal sharing, maybe I would have learnt more about her communication techniques and learnt what was feedback and what wasn’t.

Each one of us has a different mindset and therefore a different way of communicating

When we work in culturally diverse teams, each one of us has a very different mindset and a different way of seeing the world and therefore of behaving and communicating. What is a pattern of showing respect in one culture can seem a pattern of disrespect in another.

If we want to be inclusive and bring out the best of each one of our colleagues, irrespective of their background, we need to learn their cultural patterns and the perspective of each one of our teammates is. We cannot assume that just because our company’s corporate culture says, “This is the way we do things around here,” that each individual is going to be comfortable following that path. Inclusion means taking the time, making time, to get to know who you’re working with even though you think that lunch time chit chat or coffee machine chit chat takes you away from reaching your deadlines.

TING

Take a look at the Chinese character below, Ting, (which means to listen). We can learn a lot about listening from our Chinese colleagues. “Ting”, is made up of 4 smaller characters, each one a component of what we should use to listen; our ears, our eyes, undivided attention and an open heart.

How to thrive in Brazil – build a relationship

Posted on 15. April 201622. November 2021 by Tania Pellegrini

If you want your business to thrive in Brazil, build a relationship of trust with your colleagues, clients and service providers that generates confidence.

Why do foreigners in Brazil have such alarming stories?

When we think of a long term work project in Rio de Janeiro, most of us picture ourselves playing (or rather watching) futvolei on the beach sipping at fresh coconut water. So why is it that so many foreigners working in Brazil call HQ once a week with alarming stories about unmet deadlines and Brazilian colleagues who don’t do what they say they would do?

“when we think of a project in Rio we picture ourselves playing futvolei”

The most common quips I’ve heard foreigners use when speaking of their Brazilian colleagues and suppliers is , ‘They’re fake,’ ‘They’re not committed to work,’ or the classic, ‘They never reach deadlines’. As a result, after a few weeks of making such remarks, many foreigners resign themselves to the fact that they’re going to have a hard time getting their project accomplished. What they don’t do, is take the time to look into why they are interpreting the Brazilian work methods in this manner. If they did, they could then create a strategy to change what is happening around them.

What is the most common adjective that Brazilian use about their foreign colleagues?

Have you ever asked yourself what impression your Brazilian counterparts have of you? Little do we know what negative adjectives they may be using to describe our behaviour. I recently asked a former Brazilian colleague of mine what the most common adjectives Brazilians usually utter about foreigners. She replied, ‘They’re inflexible, always stressed, and they usually feel that things should be done their way, (the foreign way). How can we avoid these negative depictions and enjoy the merge of cultures?

Avoid these criticisms by building a relationship of trust

These criticisms (on both sides) often come up in moments of frustration. When we’re relaxed and have time to consider why the people around us are behaving a certain way, we usually find an explanation. However, that doesn’t help us achieve our goals and reach our deadlines. We need to go one step further. That is to say, we need to consider what we can change to be more effective when working with culturally diverse people.

The three points I mention below are only an introduction. I shall not endeavour to write more in such a brief post.

Three steps to keeping harmony and creating a strong team

Brazil is incredibly vast and has a huge population of over 207 million, made up not only of natives but also a mixture of immigrants mainly from Japan, Germany, Spain, the Middle East, Italy and of course Portugal. It’s therefore hard to say that there is one common way of behaving, of managing teams and of communicating. For example, Paolistas in the south will tell you that they are different to the Cariocas from Rio, who in turn say they are different to the North Easterners. Consequently, I shall stick to a few characteristics that several regions have in common, with an emphasis on Carioca behaviour; we have to start somewhere.

1. Building a relationship is the most important factor to being successful in Brazil

Firstly, if you ask a group of Brazilian individuals what their number one cultural value is, it is likely to be, ‘smiling’. Consequently, to be successful in Brazil, the one most important word to remember is, relationship. Little is achieved unless you make an effort to get to know your colleagues or clients personally before making requests or explaining how something should be done.

Imagine this scene: You’ve been sitting at your computer all morning. Your tummy starts to grumble and you realise it’s lunchtime. You mention to your colleagues sitting beside you that you’re going out to get a sandwich. As a result, you pick up your sandwich, take it back to your desk and nibble at it while working. My dear reader, that is mistake number 1 in Brazil. Relationships are a vital part to getting any job done. Therefore, having lunch with your colleagues and asking about their children, grandmother, aunts, uncles, cats and dogs is vital.

The work sphere and the private sphere are mingled into one. If you’re leading a group of Brazilian employees make sure you show interest in their private lives. Brazilians generally prefer to build a relationship of trust with the people they do business with. That is to say, once they trust you, it will be instinctive for them to want to help you reach your objectives.

Therefore, if your service provider offers you a cafezinho before getting down to work don’t even contemplate refusing, irrespective of how many coffees you may already have had that day. Sharing a coffee is a chance for them to get to know you. Consequently, if you’re working on a long-term project, take the time for the two-hour lunches and don’t talk business over lunch; pull out your phone and share your photos of your nephews, nieces and puppy dogs too.

2. Read between the lines to thrive in Brazil

Secondly, one difficult issue that foreigners in Brazil tend to deal with, is having to read between the lines. How do you make a decision when you cannot tell if your interlocutor is saying yes or no? How do you know what your subordinates are capable of if they don’t open up and debate your ideas?

It’s rare to hear a Brazilian say outrightly, ‘No’. That is to say, keeping the harmony and not wanting to offend anybody is important. Also, keep in mind their colonial history where big farmers were boss. Consequently, subordinates will not often openly give you feedback.

“She lied to me!” is a quote often heard by foreigners in Brazil

Imagine you’ve asked a government official in Brasilia for fifty work permits,”for Thursday”. That offical will unlikely tell you that your request is impossible. Even though they know that it’s highly unlikely you will receive these permits, they will rarely use the word, ‘No’.

Instead you’ll often hear ‘vamos ver’ (we’ll see), or, ‘Thursday could be possible’, when in fact Thursday is actually out of the question. So, on Thursday afternoon you’re looking at your watch every 20 minutes waiting to receive the fifty work permits. The 50 staff members are arriving in the country the next day. Therefore, you call the official angrily telling her she said they’d be there on Thursday. To sum up, your blood pressure starts to rise and then the frustrating negative comments start to pour out of our mouth.

Little do you realize that your Brazilian government official had actually said. ‘No’, you just didn’t hear it, or rather you didn’t pick up on it. Therefore, when making requests try to pick up on the gestures and facial expressions of the person opposite. Eventually, you will learn to read the ‘No’, and not end up waiting for something that was never intended to arrive.

3. ‘O jeitinho Brasileiro’

Finally, Brazilians are generally extremely optimistic. ‘Where there’s a will, there’s a way’, or in Brazilian terms, ‘o jeitinho Brasileiro’. You’ve probably heard of it or even seen it done. There is so much admin and bureaucracy to get through in Brazil, that even the Brazilians complain about it. As a result, getting through all the red tape is difficult for anybody to accomplish their goals and reach deadlines promptly.

Therefore, Brazilians become very creative in finding solutions to get around the red tape and generally in terms of problem-solving. For example, they are adventurous when it comes to looking for new ideas. Often they will not even tell you that there is a problem to solve because they’re proud to be able to solve it for themselves using their flexibility.

Learning to bend rules helps Brazilian stay ahead

Often, a Brazilian won’t tell you there is a problem if they think you’re not the kind of person who accepts bending rules. Rules are not always followed to a T. However, you’ll be surprised that your event will start on time as per plan. In conclusion, the backstage may look a little untidy, but the stage will be as sparkling as the sea at Copacabana beach on a fresh midweek morning with the sunrise beaming over Sugarloaf.

Reach your goals in diverse teams with these three steps.

Posted on 14. January 201625. November 2021 by Tania Pellegrini

An Italian lawyer travelling back home to Rome after a business trip in Japan, (let’s call her Elisabetta), thinks about the meetings she just held in Tokyo. Her gut feeling is that she wasn’t very successful but she can’t really place her finger on what went wrong. Why did she have the feeling that her Japanese business associates didn’t really consider her to be the most competent of lawyers?

Adapting is easier if it’s surface culture

We often hear that when working with people of different cultural backgrounds we need to adapt. OK, great. That doesn’t sound too hard. I mean, how hard is it to learn how to use chopsticks in Japan, or to not use your left hand at the table in Qatar? We usually don’t mind adapting when the situation calls for changing a physical habit but if the adaptation calls for a change in behaviour that contradicts our deep down values and that is contrary to the way we were educated, contrary to how we have learnt to behave naturally, then it becomes almost agonising and sometimes comical.

Nobody had told Elisabetta that she needed to control her emotions during her business meetings in Japan. However, even if somebody had informed her, would she have felt comfortable behaving so unnaturally? Italians tend to wear their heart on their sleeves. If they’re happy they’ll smile and laugh with joy, if they’re angry they’ll grimace with frustration, if they’re confused their forehead will wrinkle in a puzzled frown, irrespective of whether they are in a business meeting or having lunch with the family. Japanese tend to say, “Only a dead fish has an open mouth,” and a true professional controls his/her feelings in a business meeting. Any loss of control is deemed unprofessional. So Elisabetta’s gut feeling was probably spot on, the meeting probably was not successful.

Being able to build trust with your clients, colleagues or service providers of different cultural backgrounds requires “code-switching” or adapting your communication and behaviour.

Intercultural Sensitivity is not natural

Milton Bennet says that intercultural sensitivity is not natural and that ‘Adaptation means we need to consciously shift our perspective and intentionally alter our behaviour[1]. Therefore in order to become interculturally competent we need to deliberately work at certain skills that are not innate such as giving direct negative feedback to one of our very direct German subordinates even though we are the type of person who usually speaks very indirectly. It’s the kind of thought that gives you a stomach-ache just imagining the scene. The evening before an evaluation meeting, you stand in front of the mirror at home practising all the negative things you need to say and then you get to the meeting the next morning and pofff… it just doesn’t come out as you wanted. You couldn’t help but camouflage the negative points with niceties and flattery even though you really needed to tell the person in front of you that her delegation techniques are not working. So she walks away from the meeting thinking she’s had an extremely good year and that her management skills are great. So much for directness.

Step 1: Know yourself

The first step to becoming interculturally competent is not to know how the other culture functions, but rather to know yourself. You need to take a good look at yourself and ask yourself, “What are my preferred ways of communicating, what are my most common ways of behaving in meetings and in situations of conflict and how do I problem solve?”

Let’s take a concrete example. You’re the head of your department and you were brought up in an egalitarian society. In meetings you always consider asking the opinion of your subordinates before making an important decision because you know that their advice is likely to be vital. Now, go and sit in a meeting with colleagues who were brought up in a culture that does not veneer a subordinate’s opinion and you’ll likely come out of that meeting pulling your hair out, wondering, “Why are they all just agreeing with me, why didn’t anybody question the upcoming deadlines?” If you are used to debating in meetings and receiving assorted input, this kind of behaviour will frustrate you and worse you’ll likely start labelling your colleagues as incompetent, unreliable and just plain lazy.

Step 2: Learn about the values of the ‘other’ culture

Working with people of different cultural backgrounds involves developing competencies that we do not necessarily have naturally, such as learning to ‘read the air’ in Japan. If you’re classified as Kuuki Yomenai in Japan, it probably means that you cannot ‘read the air’, or you cannot decipher social situations, such as not understanding body language. The Japanese are usually non-conflictual and your Japanese service provider would not embarrass you or make you lose face by replying to a last minute outrageous request of yours with an outright ‘No’. He will likely say, “It would be very difficult.” Reading his body language you will hopefully understand that he is actually saying, ‘Are you insane, your request is completely out of the question!’ If you had ’read the air’ then you would quickly move on and find a new service provider. If you aren’t capable of reading the air and you’re an eternal optimist, then you’re probably still sitting around waiting for the difficult situation in Tokyo to be made possible.

Step 3: Code switching – adapting your style

So, if step 1 is knowing how you behave and step 2 is understanding how the person in front of you behaves, then step 3 is to ‘code switch’ or adapt your behaviour and communication to be more comprehensible to the person opposite you.

Code-switching could be verbal or non-verbal. It could be the the way you write your emails or even which media format you use. For example switching on the webcam when speaking to a culture that needs to read body language is important to help them understand your message.

So rather than just read the financial pages of the Sydney Morning Herald before you start your merger in Australia, consider if it might be more impactful to learn how to talk about Aussie Rules football while sipping at a caffé latte at Monday morning meetings with your colleagues.

[1] Milton Bennett, “Towards Ethnorelativism: A Developmental Model of Intercultural Sensitivity”, Intercultural Press, 1993. 21-71.